Touch It
by Extrinsical
Summary: You will be relatively safe from spoilers just so long you played Xenosaga II. Random insanity ensues.


_Posted: 30/04/2007 _

一

_**Touch it**  
A Xenosaga Fanfiction, brought to you by Eagle8819_

_Disclaimer: Xenosaga does not belong to me. Characters used copyright to respective owners.  
This story is based on a real life experience that occurred to an acquaintance of mine._

_Lastly, I plead not guilty for whatever brain damage that may occur here._

一

The ship shook suddenly.

The chair crashed into her mirror with a resounding crash.

She stumbled, hands reaching out to the panel to steady herself - and pressing a few buttons, by mistake.

_"TONY!"_ The captain roared through the mistakenly activated intercom.

Said blond shouted something back, but Shion was sprinting out of her room to the bridge by then.

The forgotten intercom was left on.

一

"Well, what the hell was that shaking all about?" Junior demanded.

"It appears that there is a malfunction in the engine room, and I am now currently trying to locate the error," responded MOMO, before she paused, and added. "Until then, I'm afraid we are unable to move. The engine system has shut down automatically to prevent further damage."

"You're telling me we are stuck in the middle of nowhere?"

"What?" yelped Allen. "Chief! We are stuck - "

The red head grunted, and kicked the blond in the rear. "Oh, stuff it."

"OW!"

"How long will it take to fix?" mused Shion, either not noticing the unfortunate event that occurred to her (ex)co-worker, or not bothered about it.

"I'm unable to answer that for certain until the problem is located," MOMO said, tapping away at the hologram diligently.

"Tch. Hammer!"

"Sorry boss! I'm getting just about as far as MOMO is!"

After a while, it was clear they were going to stay put for at least a few days.

But that was beside the point, and had nothing to do with this story at all, so we shall all move on. Anyway, Shion went back to her room, poor Allen trailing behind her.

No, (un)fortunately, the next scene will not be focusing on her.

Well. Not really, anyway. Not in the way _you_ are thinking, at least.

一

The intercom cackled.

"_Argh,_" Shion groaned, "_not again._"

Matthews blinked.

_"Uh, chief?"_

_"I need your help, Allen."_

Junior raised an eyebrow.

"_Touch it_," her simple command echoed through the intercom.

"_Sure, I will touch - WHAT? __T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-touch it? __B-but chief!"_

_"Touch it, Allen. I won't bite."_

_"B - but..."_

_"It's part of a human's body, Allen."_

_"But I never touched anyone's before!"_

Shion gave a sigh of exasperation. _"Are you telling me you never touched yours before?"_

By now, the bridge had become noticeably silent, with even MOMO pausing in her work.

一

Jin, who was in the hangar, twitched. Ziggy had schooled his face into a blank mask. chaos, who was with KOS-MOS somewhere in Elsa, could have sworn the android raised an eyebrow.

Obviously, the intercom was blaring through the whole ship.

一

"_W-well, I did...b-but what if I hurt you_?" Allen's voice echoed meekly.

Shion snorted. "_I touch it everyday, Allen_._ You think I never done this before?_"

一

Jin gripped his katana tightly.

一

_"Uh - um...but...can't you do it yourself?" _Allen's tone was desperate.

Junior resisted the urge to march over to Allen and wring his neck. _You idiot, you aren't supposed to refuse! This is your once in a life time chance! A one-time lucky - _

"_Allen,"_ Shion's tone was bland, "_The mirror was broken when the chair smashed into it. I can't do it without seeing it. And to begin with, it's your fault I had to do this everyday."_

_Yes! Come on, Allen, don't be an idiot now..._

_Wait a minute. Did she say __**your **__fault? She had to do __**that**__ everyday because of __**him**_

A large grin was spreading on Junior's face.

_Allen, you dog!_

一

Jin blurred by Ziggy and disappeared into the elevator.

一

"_But I can't see it_," came the reluctant voice.

"_Oh you...There." _A pause._ "Easier to see now?"_

_"I think I see it...widen a little more, chief."_

A small pause.

Eight pair of ears in Elsa was focused on the brief silence.

_"Oh. My. GOD!" _His tone was absolutely terrified.

Shion's voice, on the other hand, bordered on exasperation and irritation.

"_Are you a man or not? Just stick it in!"_

_"B-But chief..." _

Just at that moment, the door slid open - surprisingly unlocked - with Jin gripping his unsheathed katana tightly, expression forbidding.

Who then blinked and stared.

"Jin?" Shion asked.

"What..." Her brother, unusually flustered, was momentarily at a loss for words, before he composed himself. "What are the two of you doing?"

"My contact lens dropped, so I called Allen to help me?"

And of course, Allen had to have a knee-jerk response to everything...

Another pause.

"Oh."

Junior later convinced Hammer to get a copy of the recording, and it _somehow_ found its way to Miyuki, who then circulated it around with an expression of maniacal glee.

The end.

* * *

_A.N. : Again, I plead not guilty for any brain damage that occurred during the reading of this fic. XD_


End file.
